I, Motney

9:39 pm Motney

The Evolution of Man (revised)


The one picture that makes Christians curseThe Motney addition

 Before I write this post let me set your minds at ease. Why is the sloth double the size of the human? I tried to make the picture smaller, but when I do it lowers it as well. And when you lower it the limb the sloth is hanging on looks like it belongs to the most evolved human. It looks like his…well just imagine the stick about an eighth of an inch lower. Just concentrate and focus your eyes…almost…there it is! I couldn’t have any sexual refrences in it since it’s going to be featured in schools across America.

I have been using this website for shits and giggles and it’s about time the truth is exposed so that we (current humans) can become aware and not turn into them (future sloths). It’s about time I inform our readers about the real dangers to this wonderful country…and even the world.

It’s obvious that technology is increasing and human intelligence is decreasing. I’m not one to believe conspiracy theories, but I truly believe that robots have been planning to take over our society for a very long time. It’s simple if you think about it. First, they planned to have the humans produce the first machines. Second, they grow in intelligence and power as we unsuspectedly gave them an open door into our lives. Think about it. When you’re at Wal-Mart and you don’t want to wait in a long line to purchase your watermelon, banana, and golden Oreos (I have a strange diet plan, don’t judge) what do you do? You go to the self check out robots. I don’t blame you. They’re fast and reliable. But what you don’t know is that every time you do that you’re giving the robots power and knowledge that they will one day use against you. Last, they choose one important day (probably July 4th) to overthrow the humans and make us their personal slaves. This is scary and also incredibly ironic. They’re just waiting for the day we become so lazy we don’t even try to fight back (hence the sloth).

You might be asking yourself how these robots made humans make them before they even existed. Conspiracy theories don’t need facts and logic to back them up idiot! Duh. Now I urge you to reform, revolt, and revolutionize your actions. Next time you want to check out make sure you wait in the line with the 80 year-old taking 30+ minutes to check the customers out. Throw away your iPods and cell phones. The robots are everywhere. Face the facts. The only people that we should be copying are the Amish. They understand the threat that these demon machines pose and that the only way to defeat them is to ignore them. If everyone follows my lead and ignores the self check out machines (of death) they will be forced to carry out a self shut down (robot suicide). Help me defeat these demons and restore order and incredibly difficult life to this once great nation.

I mean just think about it. Do you want robots performing the jobs that are monotonous and tiresome while we humans just sit back and actually live our lives. If we allow the robots to take over we would actually have time to figure out what’s wrong with the economy and be able to help other people in need. We would have the chance to make life better while the robots work day in and day out. It would…things would…wow. That actually sounds really nice. I can’t believe I was against this about 2 minutes ago. Who wants to be a leader and national icon anyway. Look what happened to John Lennon. He had worldwide fame and caused the President of the United States to pull out of a crooked war. He had girls, and fame, and everyone wanted to be apart of what he stood for and…stuff… Yeah you know what never mind. I decided against all that. Screw the robots. Power to the people humans.

My last piece of advice to you is if you are gullible and have trouble defining fantasy and reality don’t watch the movie I, Robot.  

12 Responses

  1. anna Says:

    for a minute there i thought you guys gave up posting on this site for lent or something…

  2. Motney Says:

    Haha no. We gave up following age old traditions that have no meaning nowadays…we gave up lent.

  3. Mike Huckabee Says:

    You need to post again.

  4. Hillary Rodham Clinton Says:

    its been 3 days since the last poast.
    this is unacceptable.
    you guys think 1 post is enough to get you by for 2 weeks.


  5. jessi Says:

    iRobot= lame…. Motney I had high hopes on this one… jk

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