Proverbs that suck, pt.3

7:20 pm Motney

“A watched pot doesn’t boil.”

Okay so now we’ve moved from proverbs that are completely useless to flat out lies.

When you first hear this proverb you assume you have the ability to control whether a pot boils or not, which would be sweet. Second, this proverb makes the pot sound like a self-conscious bitch.

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Motney: Come on pot. I dare you to boil.

Pot: Noooo. Don’t look at me!!

Motney: What? Just boil! I’m hungry.

Pot: No. Turn the lights out or something, I look gross.

Motney: OMG! It’s just water and some pasta. You look fine.

Pot: I’m dead serious turn around.

Motney: Holy crap. FINE!

(pot boils)

To conclude my post I will end with some advice. Don’t ever use proverbs. They’re conversation stoppers and sometimes, like in this case, complete lies. They get you nowhere and make you sound like a dumbass.

Motney: Dude, where do you wanna eat?

Scotty: I don’t care as long as it’s not Fat Sandwich.

Motney: Yeah, a watched pot doesn’t boil.

Scotty: …what the fuck is wrong with you?

Motney: Ha! If I had a silver dollar for every time someone said that to me… 

Scotty: …Right…

2 Responses

  1. jessi Says:

    I hate this saying:

    “oh it will be in the last place you look”

    Of course it will - you wont carry on looking after you found it!!

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