Wait a second

10:42 pm Scotty

As I sit in my room further procrastinating my project due tomorrow, I ponder the question every one of us struggles with every day of our lives. Why don’t fat people have to pay more for clothes? This is clearly one of the largest problems our society is facing, and there are a couple ways to solve it:

1) Make normal people’s clothes cheaper. 

2) Make fat people’s clothes more expensive. (I’d vote for this one) 

Let’s dive a little deeper into this dilemma:

Example (Leather Jacket)

  Cows died to make jacket - 1

Now, we all know who this musical mastermind is. One day, J.T. walked into his local Walmart to explore their wonderful selection of leather jackets. He was suprised to find out that leather jackets were now cheaper for normal everyday people like him. He then gladly purchased his new (less expensive) leather jacket. With the extra money, he is able to continue supplying the world with chart-topping hits like “Cry Me A River” and “Sexy Back.” As you can see, he even had enough extra money to hire a new black friend right here from Laughing Near You.

  Cows died to make jacket - 3 1/2

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! This guy got a little too worked up when he found out that his favorite clothes were going to cost him 8 times more than normal due to his increased size. Talk about incentive! If this man ever wants the feel of processed cow skin rubbing against his body again, he’s either got to shell out the money or lose the weight. Unlike J.T., his jacket cost the lives of 2 and a half more cows (the other half is Charlie Weis). Sounds like PETA is going to have a field day with this one.

I’ll get to work on submitting this problem to Congress. With enough luck, and a two-thirds vote, we will have this injustice fixed in no time.

5 Responses

  1. jessi Says:

    oh wow

  2. ... Says:

    I still think its wrong that Victoria Secrets makes you pay more for a D bra. I’d be fine it it was in a graduated scale. An D more than C, which is more than B, which is more than A….but why start the big boob discrimination at D?

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